Finally I graduated and I’m not burnt out!

Until now, work-life balance felt like a myth. I struggled through four years of undergrad before learning how to respect myself, my time and my health. Now I can finally look back and see how far I've come.

Yesterday, we graduated! I’m not going to dwell on how underwhelming virtual graduation was, because it’s actually okay. I’d rather be underwhelmed than overwhelmed. 

Last year when I graduated with my bachelor’s we did the full shebang: my family came up to California to celebrate with me, we had all the ceremonies - black grad, grad mass, commencement ceremony in the stadium and the department ceremony under a huge tent on the main quad. I walked across the stage and got my diploma and introduced my family to my friends and we took hella pictures and I said goodbye to my friends and packed up my room and finished my final assignments and took down all our dorm decorations and played my last pan gig all in the span of one week. And that was all well and good but I’d be lying to you if I said it wasn’t utterly overwhelming. 

snapshots from graduation 2019

The uncharted territory of my 20s

Hint it’s uncomfortable and involves a lot of unlearning the ways of functioning that I’d built up throughout my life. Been broken down now I’m building back up! 

me, attempting to fly a drone

Where do I begin? Maybe with how introspectively uncomfortable I am these days. I’m no longer satisfied with my own status quo of functioning because I’m seeing a better way, but the better way is far off in the horizon. And I’m starting to make a dent towards the better way but it’s hard. It’s like wading full-body through a sticky mess and you keep going forward because you know you get to the other side eventually.

Coping and mourning in unprecedented times

Here’s to mourning the things we lost, realizing it’s okay to slump, and knowing we don’t have to go it alone. Plus, yay therapy!

work in the age of corona

Not gonna lie and pretend that I’m thriving during this time because I’m not. It’s difficult. I saw a social media post that read “Damn…I picked a bad year to get my life together” and I felt that. Because I started therapy at the end of last year and was finally learning to address my anxieties. I was finally learning how to push through discomfort and stay present and in tune to my body even when my mind sends me into a tailspin. I was learning how to be kind to myself and parent myself and BAM. Covid-19 comes and sends me spinning. So yeah, I'm upset.