9 June 2016

50 Questions: Freshman Year Edition

First in the Questions Series! A trend I've noticed: I ask more questions than I have answers for. Perhaps life is more questions than answers. My journal entries over the years certainly support this. So here they are, 50 questions I found myself asking during my first year at Stanford.

  1. New school, new year, new me??
  2. Can we take a moment to consider how naive and hopeful I was (and probably still am)??
  3. Was (am) I crazy?
  4. What am I saying??
  5. Am I delusional?
  6. Is it for real this time?
  7. Did I miss out on the fun and games to do the essay? Yes. Did I do the essay? No.
  8. Issues, anyone?
  9. I could've skipped Chem lecture, but what's the point being even further behind, midterm or not?
  10. Is it bad to say I kind of expected it?
  11. Why am I doing this?
  12. WHY am I expounding so much time and investing so much energy into this?
  13. Am I being selfish?
  14. Am I only doing this because he's attractive?
  15. Does this stem from my childhood?
  16. How amazing would it be if we ended up together? How likely is it?
  17. How compatible are we really?
  18. Why do I insist on convincing myself that this could work? Why do I insist on feeding my fantasy?
  19. You know who needs help? Me!
  20. Why do I consider them so good-looking?
  21. When was the last time I called my parents???
  22. What am I even writing?
  23. Why wouldn't you wanna deepen your friendship/relationship with God, the friend that'll never leave you?
  24. HOW FREAKING REASSURING IS THAT????
  25. What am I doing???
  26. WHY am I here again?
  27. What's my goal here?
  28. What's in store?
  29. Where do I see myself in some years, after graduation?
  30. How does introversion even work with marriage?
  31. Why is there a f#$%ing tear drop balancing on the corner of my eye?
  32. Why do I smile at people? As if I'm really enjoying whatever the hell it is...do I really? Or am I smiling because I should?
  33. Who the hell are you and could you bring back Astrid please??????
  34. What about last night? Do I just ignore it?
  35. I feel almost paralyzed. Emotionally paralyzed? Emotionally numb? Emotionally frozen?
  36. How is it the freaking first of May?
  37. How am I not freaking out...or am I?
  38. Am I repressing stuff again?
  39. What do I wanna write about..?
  40. How awful is that?? (not going to class)
  41. How is it week 7? How do I have an entire 3 freaking weeks left of this place? How?
  42. What could I say?
  43. Why is that so hard to admit/say/even acknowledge?
  44. Just because we enjoy hanging out and spending time together, does that mean anything more than platonic?
  45. Are you ready for your blessings..? Are you ready...for your miracles? #ChanceTheRapper
  46. Lol am I stressed?
  47. How is it May 23rd and week 9 already?
  48. Eh?
  49. What do they feel?
  50. Where did this event-associated anxiety even originate???


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