On the afternoon of Monday December 5th, 20-year-old Shannon Banfield left her work office in Port-of-Spain, the bustling capital of Trinidad & Tobago. She called her mother to say that she was stopping by a couple stores downtown before taking transportation to return home.
She never reached home.
Her mother appealed to the nation to help find her missing daughter, and eventually, she was found…
…found dead, her decomposing body stuffed among boxes in the warehouse of a home goods store on Charlotte Street, Port-of-Spain. Her clothing was torn and shopping bags lay nearby.
Yes, it is graphic. Yes, it should make you cringe. Yes, it is appalling and it is unacceptable.
Shannon is not the first, nor will she be the last, Trinidadian woman to become a statistic. But what was it about Shannon’s case that has sent the nation reeling, traumatized and crying for justice for this young woman?
Maybe it was because she was so young. I thought to myself, she was my age. That could’ve easily been me, calling my mother to say I was going to make a few stops before heading home.
Maybe it was the seemingly normal circumstances surrounding her murder. It could have been anyone leaving work that day: your son, daughter, cousin, nephew, mother, niece, friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife…
Maybe it’s because we all see ourselves in Shannon. We go about our daily routines thinking that if we take the necessary steps - if we are aware of our surroundings, if we be careful, and dress well - that we can protect ourselves from the violence and crime that engulf our country.
But Shannon’s case proves that this is not so. It is not about where you go, what you wear, what you’re doing, the company you keep, or the hours that you’re out and about. She was murdered in broad daylight, doing something as mundane as shopping after work. Of course, we don’t know the exact circumstances surrounding this murder, but from what has been pieced together so far, it seems that nothing should have been amiss.
Yet, Shannon never arrived home that night. Her mother never heard her daughter’s voice after that last phone call.
Where have we reached as a nation when it is no longer safe for a woman to go shopping after work? How can we call this place a paradise when our people are killing and being killed every single day?
How do we celebrate our rich culture when we lack something as important as respect for human life? When every new murder sends another family into mourning? When our girls are disappearing and showing up dead, days later? When people are being shot and stabbed in broad daylight? When it is no longer safe to walk the streets on your own?
WHAT DO WE DO?
There are criminals out there looking for opportunities to grab, steal, kill, rape. They are not afraid of the consequences. Sure, we can increase security and incur severe punishments, but this cannot erase the anger and violence embedded in our society. Many crimes are probably crimes of passion, too; robberies that turn into murder because the victim fought back. Or a simple dispute becoming a homicide when someone’s anger gets out of control. We will never know exactly what leads to these devastating crimes, because the truth goes to the grave along with the victims.
As citizens of Trinidad & Tobago, and of the world (because these crimes, especially against women, are not limited to T&T), what do we do about this seemingly hopeless situation?
Of course, we can offer our prayers. Prayer never hurts.
Of course, we can tell our children, “Be careful. Don’t stay out too late. Park in a safe spot. Remember to lock the car.”
But these warnings can be futile, and our prayers must be accompanied by action.
I truly believe that the best way to make a change is to start at home, to begin teaching our children the value of human life and how to respect each other.
We need to teach our young men especially how to respect women. Love is not a war and a woman is not a conquest. Teach them that a woman is in no way obligated to say yes to him because he has shown interest or somehow “proven” himself. Teach them to accept rejection with grace. Teach them how to deal with their anger. Teach them that it is not okay to turn to violence, to lash out at others, to hurl words and abuse as if these can solve the problem.
What’s more, we need to lead by example to fix this twisted mentality ingrained in our society today.
To my fellow Trinbagonians, we have been silent for way too long. We have a voice and it is time we say something and stand up for this injustice. And action can take so many forms: marches, protests, social media posts, conversations…the goal is to bring awareness and to increase sensitivity. Everyday on the news there is a new murder, stabbing, rape, or missing person. Every. Single. Day. We must not become de-sensitized! Do not brush it off! Do not lament, “What really going on in T&T, boy?” then switch the channel and move on! Talk about it! Use the #IAmShannon hashtag and speak out.
Share your grief, share your shock and make people aware that we are not meant to be by-standers.
Call out your friends when they make lewd comments about women. Fathers, talk to your sons about how they treat the women in their life, including their own mothers and sisters. Everyone, take action if you see injustice. Doing nothing makes us just as culpable as the perpetrator. We cannot stand idle. We must assert ourselves.
It will be hard. I’m the first to admit that I’m more tempted to walk away from injustice than to stand up for it. I’d prefer to avoid conflict and tension wherever I can. But this has to change.
I need to change in order to make a change.
Yes, it’s scary to think about. Speaking up can be dangerous and can result in threats, blackmail or it can even get you killed. How do you weigh the risk of speaking out against the chance of making a change? I really don’t know. But we’ve got to try, somehow.
And it will take time. Crime will not decline in a day, a month, a year or even a decade. It may take generations of action to see any effective change. In fact, it never completely goes away. But the shift to a better society has to start somewhere. Let’s teach this incoming generation and future generations what it is to be a model citizen, what it is to truly love one another. We are all human beings, occupying the same earth, and to dust we will all return.
So while we are here and alive, let us pledge to live a life of love.
To Shannon Banfield, and every other person that we have lost to crime, hatred and violence over the years: you did not deserve what happened to you. No one deserves to have their life snatched away, no matter the circumstances.
We feel your pain.
Your deaths will not go in vain.
Today, I pledge to do better.
Today, and every day, I am Shannon.
Things you can do RIGHT NOW to make a difference!
- If you’re a parent, have a serious conversation with your children about anger management, sexual harassment and/or respecting and loving others.
- Pledge with a group of friends to stand up to injustice wherever you can, no matter how small the situation. Hold each other accountable.
- Check out the #Lifeinleggings hashtag on Facebook, started by 2 Barbadian women to bring awareness to the sexual harassment that women face in the Caribbean, and worldwide. Read, understand and empathize.
- Share your stories with others so we can all begin to understand what our fellow citizens are going through, and increase empathy and sensitivity.
- Watch the news with your children. Use it as a conversation starting point. Ask them, “What do you think of the crime situation? What do you think we can do? What would have been a more appropriate reaction in that situation?”
- Listen to the people in your life. If someone wants to share something important with you, listen to them, and believe them if they say they are being abused, for example.
- Speak out. If you know someone who’s abusive to another - physically, sexually, emotionally or verbally - think about ways to intervene.
- Get help. If you know you suffer from anger management issues or another deep-rooted problem, do not be afraid to seek the help of others, or even professional help if necessary. There is no shame in wanting to better yourself for your own sake or the sake of loved ones.
These are just a few ideas that I have. I am by no means a psychologist, and some problems are much bigger and more deep-rooted than I am qualified to give advice for, but these are possible ways to start effecting change. Remember, there are countless other ways to make a difference, and even the smallest impact counts.