Say Hello to the Good Shepherd Crew

MOP Reflections: Journal Excerpt 1

With Donahue at Good Shepherd

Today we visited Good Shepherd, the men’s home, residence to 3 memorable characters: 1) Donahue* - tiny crippled guy (man) in a wheelchair (he has tiny feet so can’t walk) but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with his mind. Nada. 2) Walden* - another fully grown man in a wheelchair who has a speech impediment and crossed eyes and maaaaaaybe is a little slow, but otherwise, he’s normal-functioning. 3) Andrew* - who is a big, chubby, mentally challenged guy who talks in short phrases, simple words or relies on gestures. Andrew’s prime idiosyncrasy: affection. He literally greets and hugs you like you’re family, and continues to hug you throughout the day. Oh, I’ll add one more memorable guy to the list: 4) Dave* - more mentally challenged than Andrew in that he can’t really form words (I barely understood when he said his name. Imagine talking with your mouth open. That’s how he sounds), he can’t feed himself, and is somewhat unresponsive to external stimuli, although he does walk & move around on his own. 
  So what struck me about these 4?

Dominos with the Good Shepherd Crew

Well Donahue is a life-of-the-party kind of guy, loves to play Dominos & cards, but also is so normal (aside from the wheelchair) that it’s almost sadder to witness than the others. Because imagine you are fully, mentally aware of where you are, and fully dependent on the brothers - although I am sure, under different circumstances, he would’ve been able to get an education, a job, and potentially even be somewhat self-sufficient. And each year that I’m here, he’s been there. And it’s hard to imagine a life so monotonous, but I suppose that’s where God’s love comes in. He’s still so positive, prayerful & never complains. How? What else can it be but the strength of the spirit and God’s love? I asked him “What’s new?” almost in vain, maybe hoping more for my sake than his that there was something new and interesting about his life that he could divulge…but alas. Same ole, same ole, “eat, sleep, pray” was his response.

Walden giving a heartfelt homily

Now onto Walden. Mummy is always super-touched by Walden because of his preaching. Walden is the (unofficial) head of Good Shepherd (in the brothers’ absence) and he often (always?) leads prayer, and even preaches on the gospel reading of the day. But make no mistake, Walden’s homilies are as good as any any other. He preaches with depth and understanding, and Mummy tears up thinking about the first time she heard him preach, talking about the Good Shepherd in relation to God and them and the brothers.

Then Andrew! He is so sweet and from the way he clings to you, you’d swear you were his sister, mother, anything. He’s big like I said, with rough skin, and a slightttttt stench, and a mouth that looks like it gives wet kisses, which does bring out a bit of the scornful side of me, but in reality I love how hug-y he is because I am too! He hugs you, and puts his arm around you, holds your hand, and calls you his friend, and tells you he misses you constantly. And he drags you around to show you his pictures. It is the sweetest. He’s like a big baby; cute in his own innocent way.
I realize that we don’t just think babies are cute physically (I mean, those cheeks and that soft skin, hello?) but it’s their absolute innocence and purity. I think we find that absolutely irresistible, regardless of physical appearance. Why is a sweet old person, who may be caught with Alzheimer’s, or Dementia, or a slipping memory, or frail, or helpless in some capacity - why are they ‘cute’ to us? ‘Cuz wrinkles, rotting teeth, that old-person stench and ashy skin sure ain’t cute. Same goes for a mentally challenged child or adult - the drool and cocky eyes sure ain’t cute, but their demeanor, character, that face of complete innocence…how can they do wrong? They only know the human instinct to love, and eat, and sleep etc. But they cannot be mean, or do anything intentionally, which I suppose makes us feel safe? Secure in our power? When we feel like we have the upper hand, I suppose it must put us at ease.
But the innocence and purity of most of these residents really helps you see how they are the epitome of children of God. They don’t have any qualities we typically think attractive, and the world may tend to cast them off as invaluable or worthless because of this - hence the abandonment - but in reality because they have seemingly nothing to offer, they can offer everything. They are the closest to Heaven of the people on earth, and I think interacting with them gives you slice of God’s love in action - God’s pure, unadulterated, untouched, unblemished love.

Feeding them honestly took so much patience

Which brings me to Dave, whom I fed today. There is something about feeding an adult that just...it makes them so vulnerable; no wonder old people who know what it was like to be self-sufficient are sometimes reluctant to accept help. To accept help or anything from anyone, is to be vulnerable. And God forbid we accept that vulnerability. The world would love to have us think that we’re (completely capable of being) self-sufficient and whatnot, but actually we are not. We need each other, we need God, we need guidance. What baby can survive without its mother (or father)?

The thing with Dave is that I fed him, and couldn’t help but think that he is essentially a physical adult, who, mentally, never got past being a baby. When I gave him water after, he knew not how to sip, but only to suck on the rim of the cup as a baby would a mother’s breast or his bottle. To be an adult man and be at that stage is something to see, something that makes you so grateful for the simple things.

Missed the intro? Click here to check it out!

*names have been changed out of respect