Documenting almost a decade of new years resolutions: successes and failures and everything in between
Yes, I am 100% that #NewYearNewMe chick, jumping at every opportunity to make a fresh start, improve myself and set goals that I may or may not achieve. Of course, New Year’s is no exception - in fact it’s the fresh start I get the most excited about, after my birthday, a new school year, or even a new school quarter. But my approach to New Year’s Resolutions has changed over the years and I thought it would be interesting to journey back in time to see how I got here: a girl declaring with absolute conviction to anyone who would listen that 2018 is gonna be my year.
2009
I may not have been setting goals back then, but I was still the girl who was convinced 2009 would be her year.
“This new year’s gonna be awesome! I’m finally free of 2008 and all it’s craziness. 2009 is gonna be d best! I can just feel it.”
2010
This is when the New year’s resolution-setting began. I went hard; I outlined a numbered list of ways to improve 5 different areas of my life: self-improvement, self-esteem, spirituality, confidence & focus. Specific, measurable, achievable? Yes. Realistic and time-bound? No. I was setting goals, but they certainly weren’t S-M-A-R-T.
But I've come a long way when it comes to those 2010 resolutions: I’ve definitely managed to be more tolerant, write things down so I don’t forget and I believe in myself more.
There are also the failed resolutions.
There are also the failed resolutions.
For example, LOL at the fact that the very first thing on astrid’s2010newyear’sresolutionswhichsheplansonkeeping(nocheating!) was to stop biting my nails, and 7 years later, here we are, with short nails and a pack of ImPress™ fake nails to ring in the new year.
It’s also funny that at 21 years old you can find yourself still working on things that 14-year-old you wanted to improve: time-management, caring too much about what people think, spirituality, doubting myself, trying to stick to my opinions/morals/values, stress management. All proof that life’s a journey.
2011
 |
| the 2011 bookmark that started my new year |
What didn’t change was the fact that I was convinced 2011 was going to be my year:
"I know 2011 is going to bring great, new & exciting things. Something significant & exciting & life changing & influential is gonna happen in 2011. I can just feel it!”
Funny story, 2011 was the year I had my first “relationship” and “break-up” - yea, it mostly involved texting, and late night phone calls, and going to the movies like 3 times but it sure taught me A LOT about myself, and what I wanted from relationships. That’s where “the list” came from (the "perfect guy" checklist. Luckily, I've long grown out of thinking that the perfect guy exists. Obviously. Not because #menaretrash but because nobody's perfect. You live, you learn, surely).
BUT, point is, I predicted that something significant was gonna happen that year and IT DID and right now I have a feeling that 2018 is gonna be my year so who’s to say it isn’t?
2012
Somehow, I became even more aggressive with my goal-setting.
“CHEERS TO A NEW AND IMPROVED ASTRID (I know I said the same thing for 2011 but there’s NO SUCH THING as perfection and this year, I swear, I’m gonna be the best me ever!)
Cheers to forgetting the past year and all the downs, disappointments, trials and sufferings.
Let’s celebrate this new year! This opportunity to reinvent yourself and be the person you WANT to be! Yes! Yes! Yes!"
- you’d think I had a career in motivational speaking ahead of me with all these “yes”s and exclamation points -
“Cheesy and cliched as it is, I always make new year’s resolutions. Although ppl say what’s the point waiting for the new year to instill change"
- which my mom literally just told me when she heard I was blogging about New Year’s Resolutions oh my word -
“but I say the new year is the PERFECT time to instill change because it’s easier to forget the past and start AFRESH.”
Yes, you go 2012 Astrid! Look at you justifying your excitement about New Year’s Resolutions. And I couldn't agree more: it is easier to forget the past when you enter a new year.
Yes, Jan 1st is just another day, but isn’t it amazing that we have the power in our minds to look at it like turning over a new leaf? And if we can do that on Jan 1st, then we can surely do that for any other day of the year. Which means any day is a day for change. Isn't that great news?
2013 & 2014: Missing
Why? Because I got an iPhone. I know in my heart that there is a direct correlation between my iPhone acquisition and my decreased journalling, increased moodiness, and increased depressive moods. There is no doubt about it. My emotions went way out of whack when I got that phone. It makes sense because journalling was my way of working through life and emotions and difficulty, so started spending way more time online and less time journalling, I couldn’t handle things as well as I used to. Cue mini-mental breakdowns. Cue CandyCrush and Instagram and Twitter addictions. Cue self-doubt and FOMO. It still feels like I lost pieces of myself that I’m just starting to recover. BUT in 2014 I started blogging which was - and still is - a pretty big deal for me and something I’m hugely proud of.
2015
Shock of all shocks, I DID NOT journal on Jan 1st but on Jan 2nd this year 😮 But guess what? I didn’t beat up about it:
“I’m over that whole ‘beating up’ scene. NO more of that. So I started journalling on Jan 2nd. Big whoop.”
And then I did the most extensive year-in-review ever because truly, this was a turning point: the event(s) that marked my “transition into adulthood” (or some semblance of adulthood). Anyway, I’m not gonna recap the whole 2014 year-in-review, but A LOT happened in that year: 18th birthday, finishing secondary school, first job, a life-changing-evening-of-epiphanies I dubbed 'Supernova', college apps…
With all that in mind, 2015 was GAME TIME. As proclaimed by this quote that was circulating at the time:
My goals were short, but I'm proud to say that, looking back, I I actually worked on these things in 2015:
- Trust in God
- New Days Resolutions
- Keep my word
- Write more*
 |
| *The quote that inspired me circa 2015 |
Then I outlined some smaller goals that included “keep fingers and toes matching as far as possible” which gives you some indication of how not-serious I was about these mini goals. So let’s move on.
2016
This journal is in my dorm room! In a nutshell, at this point I was one quarter into my freshman year, started accruing hella life lessons (because what is college without a life lesson thrown at you every other day), and started to grapple with the idea of having 2 homes. What a time.
2017
Sad to announce that I barely even acknowledged the new year at the start of 2017 because my mind was preoccupied with things I’d prioritized over self-improvement. Maybe that’s why 2017 was such a trying year? I just wasn’t focused. The only memento from New Year’s Day 2017 that I can find is this Facebook post, in which I couldn't even bother to make a fresh status, instead sharing the 2015 memory:
And this brings us to...
2018!
Now, here I am, a girl whose approach to New Year’s Resolutions has changed countless times in the last week as Jan 1st crept closer. I can’t decide if I want to set concrete goals (the list would be miles long), or if I want to go the New-Day’s-Resolutions route of 2015 instead, or if I should aim for a change in mindset.
 |
| trying to embrace failure |
I’m not gonna lie - yes I still 100% believe that 2018 is gonna be my year and there’s still a million and one things I want to improve (eat healthy! exercise! sleep! procrastinate less! skin care! keep my hair and nails done! be fearless! keep up my GPA! write more! be more present!…the list can go on and on). BUT the difference is that I'm not gonna pretend that from Jan 1st I'm gonna transform into a person that achieves all these things. I'm gonna take each day one at a time, remind myself of my priorities, and just be.
Another part of this change in mindset is realizing that inspiration can happen at any time. Like a couple weeks ago, after my last Creative Writing class and after hearing students' stories at a storytelling event, I suddenly realized that I wanted to focus more on myself, and not dedicate so much brain space to things that aren’t worth my time. Or like last Thursday, after going out with my best friend and talking about living our best lives in 2018. Or like last night, when I had a heart-to-heart with my mom that went something like this:
Me: But Mummy there are so many things I really want to change for 2018. I want to develop better habits: to eat well, sleep well, exercise...
Mummy: Why wait until 2018? I think if you’re serious about it, you’d start before.
And I thought of my best friend working out on an arbitrary Thursday in the middle of the holidays after we ate Cinnabon and ice-cream and declared that we needed to change our lives. Because she felt inspired to action. And I thought of Mummy’s own discipline about going to the gym consistently every week for the past 2 months.
I realize how blessed I am to be surrounded by people who support and inspire me with their actions and conversations.
I haven’t decided how to approach all the things I want to achieve in 2018, but I have decided one thing:
Inspiration can come at any time. And a new year isn't the only thing that can inspire action.
