On Adult Friendships

Moving on from high school and being at university has me thinking a lot about adult friendships. My friendships no longer fit into a mold, and that’s both wonderful and scary. 

With friends at Pigeon Point, Tobago

Last week, I took a #GirlsTrip to Tobago with 4 friends from secondary school. It was a much-needed, long-awaited trip, but in the days leading up I was more nervous and agitated than excited. I hadn’t seen these girls in over 6 months, including my long time bestie from high school whom I’ve officially known for just over 10 years. Our relationships hadn’t been the same since we'd graduated, and it’s been interesting navigating these changes. Like everything else in high school, friendships were molded by the structure and routine of school. We had classes together, ate lunch together, studied together and went out on weekends or during school breaks. There was always a time and a place for friendship, and leaving school suddenly left me in a place where I had to re-evaluate the meaning of friendship, and the time and effort that they take. My friendships no longer fit into a mold, which is both wonderful and scary, and worth thinking about.

The Evolution of New Year’s Resolutions

Documenting almost a decade of new years resolutions: successes and failures and everything in between

Yes, I am 100% that #NewYearNewMe chick, jumping at every opportunity to make a fresh start, improve myself and set goals that I may or may not achieve. Of course, New Year’s is no exception - in fact it’s the fresh start I get the most excited about, after my birthday, a new school year, or even a new school quarter. But my approach to New Year’s Resolutions has changed over the years and I thought it would be interesting to journey back in time to see how I got here: a girl declaring with absolute conviction to anyone who would listen that 2018 is gonna be my year.

To the End of Sophomore Year

(Aka The Great Settling of Sophomore Year)

I wish I’d written myself a letter at the beginning of this year so I could compare how I felt then to how I feel now. I didn’t - but I did journal a lot at that time. And I remember journalling during Summer ’16 about how excited I was about sophomore year and obsessively listing all the reasons that sophomore year was going to be the bomb.com.

Long story short, it wasn’t. And if I could write a letter to my past self, there are a couple things I’d like to say. Leggo.

21 Reflections

Cheers to 21 Years of Life!

Yes, today is the big day, it's my 21st birthday! I am celebrating my 21 years in a couple ways: 1) Treating myself to some pampering & self-care 2) Reflecting 3) A possible night out with friends 4) Having a fresh start!

Stuck in a Perfect Rut

Trying to be perfect doesn't work
It’s application season - everyone around me is applying to various summer positions etc and while I am, too, I more often find myself not applying to things than actually submitting applications...

True? I think not. The failure is in not even trying. As I've come to realize.

Growing Pains

What is it about growing up makes me feel like I'm losing my sense of self?

I feel this strange combination of sadness and happiness both at once, and I don’t quite know how to explain it. It is bittersweet. It is the happiness of gratitude alongside the sadness of a nagging nostalgia. It is a longing for my childhood and for more carefree times, or at least what I remember as being carefree times.
  Youth really is wasted on the young.

Mini-me in an era of carefree
times & unappreciated freedom

The Great Unsettling of Sophomore Year

    My second year at Stanford is in full swing, and I’m feeling more unsettled than ever. In fact, I’m outright struggling to feel at peace here.

It comes as a shock to me more than anything, because I thought that surely, after weathering the ups and downs of freshman year, I’d be well-adjusted and ready to tackle sophomore year like a boss, without a hitch. I’d hit the ground running and stay running for the entire year because I had so much energy and excitement building up in me after three months of rejuvenation and spirit-restoration back in sweet T&T.

Wrong.

So, so wrong.

Nothing is as picture-perfect as it seems

The Dangers of Being Dutiful - The School of Life

After wondering about whether I should become a doctor, I found this video which made answering that question so much easier. If you're caught deciding between possible career options, remember that while serving out of a sense of duty is noble, it may not always be in your best interest or the best interest of society.

Should I become a doctor?

This is the million-dollar question I've been trying to answer.

This requires so much venting. Because my thoughts, aspirations and plans are back into overdrive. Not quite back to square one, but now I am contemplating.

Contemplating whether or not I actually want to (or should!) be a doctor.

Thoughts on turning 20

Because you only turn 20 once.

It’s a beautiful day. Although it’s still night (2:30AM to be exact). But I’ve finally turned 20, and although it’s any other day, I’ve assigned it meaning. This is the same thing I did for my 18th birthday, but this time it’s different. I feel like the last few months here at college have been such a learning experience that I can take my 20th birthday to consolidate it all, and reflect and think of where I want to go. But that’s also hard, because there’s just so much…so, so much. 

University sure as heck isn’t natural, but it’s necessary

When everything around you is new, who or what do you turn to?

Ready to take on the uni scene!

New room. New culture. New climate. New classes. New people. New routine. New teachers. New friends (no friends?). New traditions. New social events. New activities. There's one word that encompasses all this: university.

Weeks 1-5 were peachy. I felt well adjusted, ready to take on this new experience like a boss. And I felt I was handling it really well. And I felt proud of myself for that. Was I missing home? Naw. Was I missing my family and friends and way of life? Not really. This was new, and exciting, and everyone here is so supportive and welcoming and all the experiences have been great so far. Have I ever felt left out? Nope. Lonely? A bit. But that might have a lot to do with my introversion, not the lack of people.

A Letter from Your Emotions: Why They Can't Stand being Bottled Up

Hi Human,

I'm Emotions. Yea, Emotions. Those feelings you feel? Happiness, anger, jealousy, frustration, sadness, joy, disgust? That's me. I don't know exactly where in your body I reside, but I cause you to feel things. So I guess I'm everywhere. 

Christmas, Daily Planners & the Art of Growing Up

2006. Trinidad. It's December 25th, 7:30am. A quiet house sits nestled between the mountains. The sun rises over Petit Valley to welcome the Christmas morning. Three young children wake up with eager eyes and twitching hands. There are gifts to be unwrapped and surprises to be had. Their greatest hope, however, is that Santa was good to them this year, and upon looking beneath the sparkling tree, it's obvious that he has been. Before long, strips and bits of wrapping paper lay abandoned on the floor, and the excitement begins. And although they know the real reason for the season, you can't blame them for their misplaced enthusiasm - for that was just a taste of more gifts and surprises to come.