10 Weeks of Research, 10 Lessons Learnt

Posing with poster

Research. Such a loaded word, and quite frankly, a word that would have scared me a year ago. So this summer, when I finally had my first "research" experience, the fulfillment wasn’t so much about the theory of the research itself, but all the lessons that came with switching from student-mode to work-mode. Here are some notes that I took over 10 weeks.

1. Firstly, I had to get over my own version of imposter syndrome, and remind myself that I deserved to be where I was. After being accepted to do HBREX (the Human Biology Research Exploration program), I felt like I’d suddenly attained something that had felt unattainable only one year before. And I felt like I couldn’t possibly be qualified for this.

Growing Pains

What is it about growing up makes me feel like I'm losing my sense of self?

I feel this strange combination of sadness and happiness both at once, and I don’t quite know how to explain it. It is bittersweet. It is the happiness of gratitude alongside the sadness of a nagging nostalgia. It is a longing for my childhood and for more carefree times, or at least what I remember as being carefree times.
  Youth really is wasted on the young.

Mini-me in an era of carefree
times & unappreciated freedom

The Great Unsettling of Sophomore Year

    My second year at Stanford is in full swing, and I’m feeling more unsettled than ever. In fact, I’m outright struggling to feel at peace here.

It comes as a shock to me more than anything, because I thought that surely, after weathering the ups and downs of freshman year, I’d be well-adjusted and ready to tackle sophomore year like a boss, without a hitch. I’d hit the ground running and stay running for the entire year because I had so much energy and excitement building up in me after three months of rejuvenation and spirit-restoration back in sweet T&T.

Wrong.

So, so wrong.

Nothing is as picture-perfect as it seems

The Dangers of Being Dutiful - The School of Life

After wondering about whether I should become a doctor, I found this video which made answering that question so much easier. If you're caught deciding between possible career options, remember that while serving out of a sense of duty is noble, it may not always be in your best interest or the best interest of society.

Should I become a doctor?

This is the million-dollar question I've been trying to answer.

This requires so much venting. Because my thoughts, aspirations and plans are back into overdrive. Not quite back to square one, but now I am contemplating.

Contemplating whether or not I actually want to (or should!) be a doctor.

Your Elusive Creative Genius - Elizabeth Gilbert

"Is it logical that anybody should be expected to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do?" For all you writers, dreamers, and creators out there, I found this TED talk deeply inspiring and relatable. 

Flipped

   A few weeks ago, I signed up for Netflix because I wanted to watch the Titanic movie online but I couldn’t find it. I figured Netflix was bound to have it, given all the hype. Turns out I didn’t find the Titanic, but I found Flipped instead. Flipped! One of my favourite young adult books by Wendelin Van Draanen had been turned into a movie! Who knew! The book followed the story of Juli Baker and Bryce Loski from both their viewpoints. I loved that book. I’d read it several times and the story never fails to make me sigh and smile. It’s just the sweetest story ever of how the tables can turn when it comes to life and love.

University sure as heck isn’t natural, but it’s necessary

When everything around you is new, who or what do you turn to?

Ready to take on the uni scene!

New room. New culture. New climate. New classes. New people. New routine. New teachers. New friends (no friends?). New traditions. New social events. New activities. There's one word that encompasses all this: university.

Weeks 1-5 were peachy. I felt well adjusted, ready to take on this new experience like a boss. And I felt I was handling it really well. And I felt proud of myself for that. Was I missing home? Naw. Was I missing my family and friends and way of life? Not really. This was new, and exciting, and everyone here is so supportive and welcoming and all the experiences have been great so far. Have I ever felt left out? Nope. Lonely? A bit. But that might have a lot to do with my introversion, not the lack of people.

A Note on Note-Taking

It’s unbelievable how very small your world is and how you don’t actually realise until it slaps you in the face. And when your world is small - as mine was, as all of our worlds inevitably are - then your thinking aligns itself within the confines of your world, and your perspectives are - sad to say - narrow. It’s not like we can help it. No one can know everything there is to know about the world, but what I’ve realised is the key factor to fulfillment and learning is to have an open mind and attitude to change and learning.

The world is so big, and we are ultimately so small

How College taught me how to Read (again)

So much reading, so little time

I didn’t expect to learn how to read when I came to Stanford, but you can bet that’s one of the first lessons I learnt. There I sat in the lounge at 1AM (or was it 2AM) with about 20 pages to read for one history class, and 4 chapters of a thick book for another. I popped my headphones in, got comfy, and began the journey.

Sometime during my in-depth reading, I realised that half the details I sat there painstakingly internalising weren’t even necessary. The general theme of my class was History of the Middle Ages, the “Fall” of Rome, Christianity etc, so why did I have to know the details of King Clovis’ love for gore? Sure, it helped me understand the culture and atmosphere of that time, but did I need to know what he might have been wearing down to the colour of his last button? Naw. What was important was the big picture.

A Letter from Your Emotions: Why They Can't Stand being Bottled Up

Hi Human,

I'm Emotions. Yea, Emotions. Those feelings you feel? Happiness, anger, jealousy, frustration, sadness, joy, disgust? That's me. I don't know exactly where in your body I reside, but I cause you to feel things. So I guess I'm everywhere. 

Christmas, Daily Planners & the Art of Growing Up

2006. Trinidad. It's December 25th, 7:30am. A quiet house sits nestled between the mountains. The sun rises over Petit Valley to welcome the Christmas morning. Three young children wake up with eager eyes and twitching hands. There are gifts to be unwrapped and surprises to be had. Their greatest hope, however, is that Santa was good to them this year, and upon looking beneath the sparkling tree, it's obvious that he has been. Before long, strips and bits of wrapping paper lay abandoned on the floor, and the excitement begins. And although they know the real reason for the season, you can't blame them for their misplaced enthusiasm - for that was just a taste of more gifts and surprises to come.

5 Minutes of Epic Motivation - iiSuperwomanii

Toxic mood setting in? Have a dose of healthy motivation.

I am not freaking out

A letter from me to you

It’s Christmas eve eve,

and all through my brain,

all the thoughts were running,

trying to drive me insane.

I took to my laptop 

and let them spew.

because i refused to freak out

thats one thing i knew!