Anxiety Brain and Me

I’m finally putting into words what anxiety feels like for me.

Sometime in my 20s, I dug up my anxiety and have been trying to bury it ever since. Unsuccessfully so, I might add.

what you don't see is that hours before this photo
was taken, I was an anxious lil cookie.
(PC: John Cassidy)

It has become a project of sorts, something I will stop at nothing to fix. I started therapy. Still anxious. Started praying more. Still anxious. Started back running. And reading. And resting. Still anxious. Tried setting boundaries and saying no. Still anxious. Learned to listen to myself and ask for breaks. I meditated and partied, then realized partying wasn’t the answer, then spent more time laying in the sun listening to music and napping and enjoying nature and, guess what, still anxious. Moved back home (big win!) and I STILL GET ANXIOUS.

21 Reflections

Cheers to 21 Years of Life!

Yes, today is the big day, it's my 21st birthday! I am celebrating my 21 years in a couple ways: 1) Treating myself to some pampering & self-care 2) Reflecting 3) A possible night out with friends 4) Having a fresh start!

Stuck in a Perfect Rut

Trying to be perfect doesn't work
It’s application season - everyone around me is applying to various summer positions etc and while I am, too, I more often find myself not applying to things than actually submitting applications...

True? I think not. The failure is in not even trying. As I've come to realize.

University sure as heck isn’t natural, but it’s necessary

When everything around you is new, who or what do you turn to?

Ready to take on the uni scene!

New room. New culture. New climate. New classes. New people. New routine. New teachers. New friends (no friends?). New traditions. New social events. New activities. There's one word that encompasses all this: university.

Weeks 1-5 were peachy. I felt well adjusted, ready to take on this new experience like a boss. And I felt I was handling it really well. And I felt proud of myself for that. Was I missing home? Naw. Was I missing my family and friends and way of life? Not really. This was new, and exciting, and everyone here is so supportive and welcoming and all the experiences have been great so far. Have I ever felt left out? Nope. Lonely? A bit. But that might have a lot to do with my introversion, not the lack of people.

Favourite Quotes

"The greatest danger is not that our hopes are too high and we fail to achieve them; it's that they are too low and we do." - Michelangelo

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jer 29:11

Favourite Books

Will the list ever end?

• The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
• The Gone Series by Michael Grant
• Scat by Carl Hiaasen
• Bzrk by Michael Grant
• The Nancy Drew Series by Carolyn Keene

A Letter from Your Emotions: Why They Can't Stand being Bottled Up

Hi Human,

I'm Emotions. Yea, Emotions. Those feelings you feel? Happiness, anger, jealousy, frustration, sadness, joy, disgust? That's me. I don't know exactly where in your body I reside, but I cause you to feel things. So I guess I'm everywhere. 

20 Facts About Me Yo

Hi hello & welcome!

First Post! For starters, 20 facts about me:

1. My name is Astrid. It means "divine strength". There's no doubt that names have power. Without this strength God gave me, I'm not sure where I would be today.
2. I'm 18
3. I'm done with secondary/high school. Am I at university? No. Have I applied anywhere? No. Do I know where i want to study? Do I know what I want to study? No and nope. Does this bother me? No. Was I lying? Yes. It's like looking into your future and seeing a cloudy mist of uncertainty. Am I trusting that God will work it out for me? Yes. (Do I have a choice? No.)