The uncharted territory of my 20s

Hint it’s uncomfortable and involves a lot of unlearning the ways of functioning that I’d built up throughout my life. Been broken down now I’m building back up! 

me, attempting to fly a drone

Where do I begin? Maybe with how introspectively uncomfortable I am these days. I’m no longer satisfied with my own status quo of functioning because I’m seeing a better way, but the better way is far off in the horizon. And I’m starting to make a dent towards the better way but it’s hard. It’s like wading full-body through a sticky mess and you keep going forward because you know you get to the other side eventually.

Coping and mourning in unprecedented times

Here’s to mourning the things we lost, realizing it’s okay to slump, and knowing we don’t have to go it alone. Plus, yay therapy!

work in the age of corona

Not gonna lie and pretend that I’m thriving during this time because I’m not. It’s difficult. I saw a social media post that read “Damn…I picked a bad year to get my life together” and I felt that. Because I started therapy at the end of last year and was finally learning to address my anxieties. I was finally learning how to push through discomfort and stay present and in tune to my body even when my mind sends me into a tailspin. I was learning how to be kind to myself and parent myself and BAM. Covid-19 comes and sends me spinning. So yeah, I'm upset.

Struggling to adjust to a new home

Since when is it a daunting task to leave my room or make a sandwich? What is going on?

New church in my new town. Moving can be exciting, but also a little scary.

Basic life update/recap: I graduated in June, went home, survived a full-time internship (all by the grace of God) and now I’m back in the bay for my master’s degree (who sent me?!). I’m no longer on campus, but an 18-ish minute bike ride away and living in a legit house - not a dorm with a dining hall and RAs and more people than you can befriend in a year, but a house.

When self-care feels selfish

Crying because Lilly Singh aka Superwoman, one of my favorite Youtube personalities, recently announced that she’s taking a break for her mental health. I’ve laughed along to her videos and seen her grow for the last 4 years, and now, hearing her talk about the importance of taking care of yourself has struck some chord in me that lay dormant for a while. 

She said, “Taking time for yourself and addressing mental health is positive. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. There’s nothing to feel bad about. It is what it is.” 😭

I’m thinking, if Superwoman can take a break and not feel bad about it then maybe so can I.

Sleep Deprivation is Changing Me for the Worst

When you spend the first weeks of the school year being sleep deprived and overextended, everything that happens suddenly turns into a drastic situation. Plus, senior year is tough!

been sleepy since freshman year

College is rough, as evidenced by my many previous posts ranting about the ups and downs, busyness and stress that comes along with trying to be and do everything in a short 4 year span.

But here we are, in senior year, because somehow I made it through. And honestly, I'm ready to leave already. 😅It's more complicated than that though.