Thoughts on turning 20

Because you only turn 20 once.

It’s a beautiful day. Although it’s still night (2:30AM to be exact). But I’ve finally turned 20, and although it’s any other day, I’ve assigned it meaning. This is the same thing I did for my 18th birthday, but this time it’s different. I feel like the last few months here at college have been such a learning experience that I can take my 20th birthday to consolidate it all, and reflect and think of where I want to go. But that’s also hard, because there’s just so much…so, so much. 

Torn between my new college and my old home

Between Trinidad and Stanford

A glimpse of the scenic coast off Eastern Trinidad.
Beware, though! Rip currents and rough seas
make these waters unswimmable

Returning home after my first quarter, I felt like my heartfelt wish had finally been granted, except it didn’t feel like the euphoria I expected. Up to a few weeks ago, if anyone had asked me if I was looking forward to returning home, I would enthusiastically respond, “Oh yes. I’ve been looking forward to going home since week five!”

Where’s home? Home is Trinidad and Tobago, my beautiful, Caribbean, twin-island republic – land of sea, sun and smiles.

Home…that magical place where family, friends, and fun times awaited me. I closed my eyes and dreamt of familiar faces and places, but when I opened them again, I was back in California, faced with schoolwork and socializing, and keeping up with life in the fast lane at Stanford.

Flipped

   A few weeks ago, I signed up for Netflix because I wanted to watch the Titanic movie online but I couldn’t find it. I figured Netflix was bound to have it, given all the hype. Turns out I didn’t find the Titanic, but I found Flipped instead. Flipped! One of my favourite young adult books by Wendelin Van Draanen had been turned into a movie! Who knew! The book followed the story of Juli Baker and Bryce Loski from both their viewpoints. I loved that book. I’d read it several times and the story never fails to make me sigh and smile. It’s just the sweetest story ever of how the tables can turn when it comes to life and love.

University sure as heck isn’t natural, but it’s necessary

When everything around you is new, who or what do you turn to?

Ready to take on the uni scene!

New room. New culture. New climate. New classes. New people. New routine. New teachers. New friends (no friends?). New traditions. New social events. New activities. There's one word that encompasses all this: university.

Weeks 1-5 were peachy. I felt well adjusted, ready to take on this new experience like a boss. And I felt I was handling it really well. And I felt proud of myself for that. Was I missing home? Naw. Was I missing my family and friends and way of life? Not really. This was new, and exciting, and everyone here is so supportive and welcoming and all the experiences have been great so far. Have I ever felt left out? Nope. Lonely? A bit. But that might have a lot to do with my introversion, not the lack of people.

A Note on Note-Taking

It’s unbelievable how very small your world is and how you don’t actually realise until it slaps you in the face. And when your world is small - as mine was, as all of our worlds inevitably are - then your thinking aligns itself within the confines of your world, and your perspectives are - sad to say - narrow. It’s not like we can help it. No one can know everything there is to know about the world, but what I’ve realised is the key factor to fulfillment and learning is to have an open mind and attitude to change and learning.

The world is so big, and we are ultimately so small